Fame
The best thing
about being famous
is when you walk
down the street
and people turn around
to look at you
and bump into things.
There are fascists
There are
fascists
pretending
to be humanitarians
like
cannibals
on a health kick
eating only
vegetarians.
The Leader
I wanna be the leader
I wanna be the leader
Can I be the leader?
Can I? I can?
Promise? Promise?
Yipee, I’m the leader
I’m the leader.
OK what shall we do?
Fired with Enthusiasm
This morning
the boss
came into work
bursting
with enthusiasm
and fired everybody.
The Perfect Crime
The sword-swallower
stabbed his unfaithful
wife to death
Before disposing
of the murder weapon
in one gulp.
Ostrich
One morning
an ostrich
buried his head
in the sand
and fell asleep
On waking
he couldn’t remember
where he’d buried it.
Punk doll
Last week
I bought my favourite niece
a cute little doll
from a punk toy shop
in the King’s Road.
When you twist the safety pin
in her rosy cheek
she vomits and shouts
‘shitshitshitshitshit’
in a tinny voice.
The doll is pretty strange too.
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